nine.

weekend in a nut-shell.

friday morning. woke up to a "call me as soon as you wake up" text mssg from michael. not so great... ended up freaking out over his questioning, "would it freak you out if i said i don't see us going long term??" no-fucking-duh. seriously???

cue bawling...
he ended up driving down to my house to apologize/explain for himself. yaddayadda. i thought he was trying to break up with me so, continuous emotion fest for the next nine hours. layed in bed all day with him instead of working (normally would've been heaven but, due to those circumstances... eh not so much) ended up puking... made him promise that this wouldn't be the last time we'd hold each other and that's when he stated that he was never taking advice from a mutual friend of ours and that we were definitely not breaking up, he loves me.

grr-
i wish people would just stay out of other people's relationships when they don't belong there to begin with =/
michael's just frightened because i'm his first serious girlfriend... i am sure of it. hell, i'm even frightened a bit when i stop and realize just how much i feel for him. he's a wonderful boyfriend and i don't want to lose him.

the very thought of having him out of my life sends me spiraling into a deep pit of depression and anxiety. ughh... i need him.

i love him.

michael had to work at four so... i showered and got ready to head to jamestown for some much needed company while he was at work. smoked like a goddamn chimney that evening and indulged in coffee (cigs and coffee were my devoted nutrition for the previous two days to this occurance) chatted with heather and a few other friends. ended up going to see zombieland at the theaters... it had been over a year since i'd actually gone to the cinema, pathetic! afterwards i kind of just dropped everyone else off and headed home. michael came down... i felt like that was one of the best moves he could have made (:

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saturday we slept all day until he had to get up for work. readied myself. picked up carlie. smokesmokesmoke. off to the labyrinth for some coffee. felt ill, finally ate a salad. was invited to forte's surprise party- did not go. ended up driving from jamestown to bemus point to pick up my little sister from homecoming because she was ditched. ended up getting lost on the way home. headed through mayville and eventually out of chautauqua into jamestown. late night dinner at friendlys. found out close friend has mono... oh shit, paranoias... i shared a drink with him at the theater the night prior to diagnosis. merrrrrrrrrrgh. dropped everyone off. headed home. michael showed up a bit after i dozed off. cuddles and chatted for a bit. put in "i shot andy warhol" and then i completely crashed. (i've been so rediculously tired and bogged down with anxiety lately... and sore throat... etc. EEP mono anxieties).

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and here we are to sunday-
slept in until about three with michael. (sleep sleep sleep... we are probably equivalent to the sloth when we are cuddling... serious comfort)
he left for work. i began my laundry (i'm a freak over blankets and bedding... it must be washed every week, typically sundays). washed my clothing as well. hmmmmm. what else. oh, internet bum all day.
fabulous!!!


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work tomorrow. i am not excited, except for maybe my coffee indulgence. pathetic? perhaps.
payday on friday, i really really REALLY need to make an appointment to get my car fixed and inspected, this is getting ridiculous.